Rules of Survival
by Thunder-Nari
Summary: A Halloween fic. Posting a lot late. Wes plays his trick and gets the treat. SpikeWes slash.


Uh... I probably should have posted this on Halloween but oh well.

This also doubles as an answer to windlesorbit's Halloween challenge and as a fic for fanfic100. Promt for the first one was 'dumping out the bag of candy and sorting through it', prompt for the second one was 'orange'. It's cute and silly and very AU, with Spike being there and cute little kid Connor. :)

**Rules of Survival**

Rule number one when you were at a house that had an extremely hyper child in it was simple. And Spike knew. Always - always - check the bottles before you put anything in your hair. He knew it, Cordelia knew it, hell, even Angel knew it. Gunn knew it because he was the one that had shown the little hoodlam in the first place.

Wes apparently hadn't picked up on that little bit of survival information yet.

Spike watched from his spot by the door as Wesley walked with blissful obliviousness down the stairs. He clapped a hand quickly over Connor's mouth as the brat began to giggle. Maybe if he scooped Connor up they could make a fast exit out the door before Wesley realized what had happened, keep the kid safe from Wesley's wrath. Which meant he'd take it out on Angel instead which Spike was really okay with.

Too late though. Wesley had noticed them, a smile spreading out over his face and headed straight for them. Connor was making snuffling noises from under his hand.

"Are you trying to suffocate the boy?" Wesley asked with a bit of alarm.

"What? No." Spike quickly dropped his hand from over Connor's mouth and the boy burst into giggles.

To Spike's immediate relief, Wes just gave Connor a puzzled glance and seemed to put it down to kids acting like kids before switching his attention to Spike. "I thought you and Angel were taking him trick or treating?" Spike nodded enthusiastically but Wesley looked dubious. "So where's your costume?"

Spike looked indignant that Wesley didn't seem to be getting it. "I'm me!" He vamped out and barred his fangs. "See? Grrr. Vampire."

"Of course," Wesley humored him with only a vaguely interested glance. Connor, at least, graced him with a giggle and he barred his fangs at the boy before letting the vampire facade fade away.

He pouted though as Wesley proceeded to ignore him and crouch down before Connor. Who burst into peals of laughter as soon as he caught sight of Wesley again and fell to the floor. Spike hoped the kid knew that he was supposed to breath. Wesley looked perplexed and shot an accusing stare up at Spike.

"Right. What did you two do?"

"Nothing!" Connor yelped indignantly. For a moment before he was off giggling again. "But...your hair..."

Spike felt like slapping his forehead. There went all chance of running before Wes found out and swung around to miserable.

Wesley's eyes narrowed in foreshadowing of the mood he would be in in mere moments. "My... What?"

Still frowning, Wesley got to his feet and wandered behind the counter to get to Cordelia's desk. They all knew there was a mirror in her drawer. Spike resisted the urge to hold Wesley back.

Silence rang supreme through the Hyperion's lobby, even Connor seemed to be holding his breath.

"Angel!" It was broken by Wesley's high-pitched yell.

A crash signaled Angel's entrance as he practically fell out of his office trying to get to the danger. "What? Where is- Oh." He'd caught sight of Wesley, going speachless before looking confused. "Did you know that your hair is orange?" Connor broke once more into laughter and Spike lifted him to prevent his falling over. And to make it easier for their inevitable getaway. Understanding lit in Angel's eyes. "Oh."

Wes glowered at him.

Spike waited a beat before deciding to put his foot in his mouth. "Look at it this way, pet. Least it's very festive." He felt himself taking a step back under the force of Wes' stare.

"Connor," Angel broke the upcoming beratement and Spike silently thanked him. "You know better than to do this."

Connor gave an indignant yelp. "It wasn't me!"

When Spike and Angel turned to look at Wes' reaction to that denial, Wes was standing his arms crossed and eyes hard. And absolutely ridiculous with pumpkin orange hair. They both knew better than to argue with him.

"Connor..." Angel began in his best 'You must be punished' tone. Connor looked heartbroken. It was easy to see the wibble in Angel's stance.

"I believe I know what to do, Angel." Wesley stepped forward, hand held out to Connor. "Come with me."

Connor went along meekly.

* * *

Spike waited on the couch in the lobby and worried more about the boy than he probably should. Wes was probably giving him one of his Grade A Lectures, gauranteed to put anyone to sleep. The worst the boy would fair was absolute boredom.

Angel was there with him, pacing back and forth and muttering to himself.

"...I can't believe Connor did this... After that time with Cordy, he should really..."

Spike smiled at the memory. She'd made poor Connor watch soap operas for a month with her.

They both swung their gazes around simultaneously when the door to Angel's office openened. Wesley walked out looking pleased, followed by a subdued looking Connor. Angel made a beeline for Connor to give him the necessary coddling. Spike kept his wary gaze on Wesley. Who grinned at him and motioned Spike to follow him upstairs.

Once they were both securely situated into their shared room, door firmly locked, Wesley's grin spread out wider and he moved across to sit on the edge of the bed. Spike waited and wondered when the bomb would drop.

"Pretty pleased for a guy with a head that could pass for a pumpkin," Spike stated warily.

With that continued eery grin, Wesley reached into his trouser pockets and came up with handfuls of candy. Spike gaped at him.

"You stole candy from a kid?"

"I hardly stole it, he gave it to me quite willingly. To avoid any real punishment. He has more than enough left."

"Harsh punishment just for dying your hair."

Wesley's grin was pure mishchief. "I never said he dyed my hair."

Spike gaped and snuck closer to the bed to inspect the piles of candy that now sat there so innocently. "You bloody bastard! You stole all the Rockets."

"What do you think took so long? We had to empty the bag and sort through it all for the good stuff. There's little piles of it scattered through Angel's office now, Connor seemed to quite enjoy himself. Wish I'd gotten to when I was a kid really..."

Spike looked unimpressed with his bordering on whimsical speach and Wesley rolled his eyes.

"It's trick or treating, Spike. I pulled a trick, I've got my treats. Now sit down and help me to sort this so we can enjoy it. Then after we'll have a shower to wash the dye out."

Spike grinned. He couldn't help but admire his Wes.


End file.
